A few randoms of the week...

1.) Yesterday, while shopping with Jack for his dinosaur birthday bash, I get a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and see a 70ish year old man with blazing white hair, orange/tan skin, and a few gold chains around his neck. He looks at Jack and says, "Hey there handsome, how about I take your mommy out for a nice steak dinner? I don't see a ring on that pretty little hand of her's." It takes me around 15 min to convince him I was actually married, and just forgot my ring. During that 15 min, he told me that he had been watching me and following me around the store. Awesome. I have a crinkly, orange, floppy stalker. This is the second time in the past few months I have been hit on...the first time being a lipstick lesbian. If I weren't married, my options would be slim.

2.) Vic says, "Hey, babe, can you help me with this?" Me, "yeah....oh wait, hold on, Jack is stirring the toilet water with his banana." Vic, "Ok,....wait, what did you just say?" Me, "do NOT make that last sentence naughty!" Vic, "hehehe."

3.) While at the fair, Vic and I run into an old friend. He works for Wells Fargo, and there was a big pit with a bunch of beach balls. I am trying to converse while keeping an eye on Jack. So far, he keeps grabbing the balls and throwing them back into the pit. Next thing I knew, Jack is inside the ball pitt with about 6 other kids, and they are all body slamming each other and the balls and laughing hysterically. The Wells Fargo supervisor comes over to me, and asked "Are these all your kids?" (Only in Utah would I be asked this) Right after she said this, I look around and see all the other parents standing around the pitt just laughing at all the babies. I say, "Ah, no... this one is just mine." The lady said "ok, well just so you know these kids are not suppose to be body slamming the beach balls, and I would appreciate it you got them under control." She then flips her hair at me and walks away. Resisting the urge not to flip her off, I hurry and grab Jack and tell him to take a ball. Then I grabbed Vic's arm and said "let's go." I am not gonna lie, sometimes taking the low road feels so good. Vic said, "it's ok, we have like 6 accounts there, they owe us a beach ball."

4.) After putting Jack to bed lastnight, we heard him stomping and knocking everything over in his room. He is loving his new found freedom of his big boy bed. Around midnight, when Vic and I were just falling asleep, Jack starts screaming. We jump out of bed, and when I get into his room, he starts crawling out from behind the rocking chair. Apparently, he fell asleep on the floor, behind the chair, and on top of the AC vent. He was freezing, and it was pitch black in his room and he couldn't see to get back into his bed. After some warm milk, and three blankets he crashed in bed. I am hoping he realizes that sleeping on the vent is really not a good idea.